Deep-Fried Candy Bars and Additional CAKETIME!

Alright people, as promised - updates on the cake! I am really just procrastinating here; I should be working or writing people's Christmas presents, but I am not. So, go figure.

Anyway - we took the cake out of the oven and let it cook down in the tin. I then removed it from the tin and had a gander at it. It looks like a cake. Behold;

That is the cake after I took it out of the tin and wrapped it in greaseproof paper and foil like it said. But then Liza reminded me that when we did it before, we did not take it out of the tin - we just left it in there and fed it there. So, I put it back in the tin.

BUT! Before you see that, here is the cake from last time (the Groom's Cake from the wedding); just so you know everything is proceeding in the usual manner.

It looks very similar (the difference being in lighting and also the fact you are looking at the top of this cake, and the bottom of the new one).

So, I put the cake back in the tin (right way up) and started poking holes in it and drizzling the remains of the brandy on it. You "feed" the cake like this morning and evening until you run out of brandy, basically, making sure it is in an airtight tin while you do this. We slapped on a saucepan lid which fits the tin perfectly and scrunched some foil around it - basically, all you are trying to do is make sure the alcohol does not boil off and the cake dry out.

I just (literally, just before I started typing this post) used up the last of the brandy on the cake. It makes the top of the cake go all spongy and doughy as it soaks in, so I think it's going to need a couple of says to stabilize and so forth. I put the lid back on and wrapped it in plastic wrap to keep the brandy inside. And we are just going to leave that for a couple of days before we start on the next part of the cake.

Oh, yes - there is more.

You have to ice this thing - which is kind of like frosting, but not the same. Frosting is generally soft and all squishy, but that is not the point of this. The idea is very simple - you cover it is a layer of marzipan and then multiple layers of royal icing. You can just slap on the marzipan and slather on a great thick layer of icing, but it doesn't dry right and you get this slightly soft, chewy icing.

You can do this. And you can also pierce your own nipples with a hammer and a rusty nail. It works but no-one is impressed and you wonder why you bothered.

No, what you do is this. You get the marizpan (which is fiendishly expensive in the USA, so we are going to make our own) and glue it to the cake using some kind of melted jam (traditionally, you use apricot, but I have had excellent results using marmalade). You then let this dry for a day or two, and put on multiple thin layers of royal icing, each of which has time to dry properly and fully before you put on the next one.

Anyway, all that is in the future - which is the future-future's past!

Let us speak of our past, which is also the future's past, and indeed everyone's past, except the past-past, of which the past is the future!

Deep fried candy bars.

I'm sorry. I couldn't hear the cry of awed amazement from here. Let's try this again.

I said, Deep Fried Candy Bars.

Yeah, hippies.

Alright, here is now it went down. The Boss was out of town (in Chicago, no less) and there was fear he would be trapped in the Windy City by the massive snowstorm blowing up (in the end, he wasn't - storm hit later). But, armed with this fear, we decided to offer to cook dinner for Housecat who is staying with the Boss. I offered to make proper, genuine, English fish and chips - so we did this.

The point of this story is NOT the consumption of 3 lbs of fried cod and about 6 lbs of fried potato together with batter by six people. Plus a custard tart. No, that's not the point (nor do I have pictures, although I really should have done because fish and chips is totally awesome and you just can't get it here unless you make it. Seriously and for reals, people - utterly impossible to get hold of decent fish and chips here. No-one has the first idea how to make it).

No, the point of the story is that - when I said "I will make fried fish and chips" Housecat expressed interest in deep-fried candy bars. And so some of these were bought. And, when the 3 lbs of fish and 6 lbs of chips had been eaten, fresh batter was made and the oil was skimmed of large bits of floating scraps and . . .

One does not simply fry a WHOLE candy bar (one does also not simply walk into Mordor). The idea is simply insane. So, I cut them into thirds. The basic idea is that, if you eat something in three bites rather than one, you can stave off Type II Diabetes for a day or so.

This is me dipping the pieces of candy (they are Milky Way candies, which are different from UK Milky Way candies, and are closer to Mars Bars) on cocktail sticks into the batter. The batter is made of flour, sugar, beer and cinnamon (for our American friends; everything here has cinnamon in it).

You use the little stick to dip the battered candy into the hot oil (you can see how hot it was on the temperature gauge - don't get your hand in it! It hurts!) What you have to do it hold it there for a few moments while the batter puffs up and the candy starts to float, pulling away from you.

Me continuing to hold the candy, waiting for the moment when . . .

It starts to float! You can see the first candy floating while I dip the second; the candy floats with the little stick above the surface of the oil, making it easy to pull out of the fryer.

When these things are done, they look ugly. They are round and brown and generally look kind of unappetizing. However, when you eat them all that changes. The chocolate and the nougat melts and gets all gooey and warm, and you have the crispy cinnamon batter.

So, yeah. Deep fried candy bars. We are thinking of doing them as a made-to-order desert for the party on Boxing Day. They make the perfect appetizer - they already have the stick in them.

Later today, I might make marzipan.