What the heck are they doing????

Ok – so some days are better than others. This is one of those good days. It’s been raining like a car wash here today – heavy gushing rain, cleaning off the dust of way too many 90F degree days. Everything is clean and fresh and even the spiders outside my windows at work are happy they have nice clean webs to strut around in.

Simon and I have been making plans for his visit, plans for our wedding, plans for our life. So far we know we will have a tremendous amount of things to do when he is here in December. Visit with Fr. Liberty, visit with the reception location and do a tasting with the chef to choose our menu, go to the bridal place to order my dress, go to the tux place or suit store to decide what he will wear, to the stationary store to choose invitations…and somewhere in there we will spend some time with just us and with family and friends. He will be here for 18 days – not nearly enough for me, but once I’m there with him we will have the rest of our lives together.

Which brings me to the rest of our lives. There are many out there, very probably everyone, who think we are crazy or are rushing things, or are making poor decisions. We both can understand why, from the outside appearance of things, most people would think something like that.
Well – I’m here to tell you a little more about us and what this all means to us.

Simon and I met under very unorthodox circumstances, and continue our engagement in the same place. We didn’t meet in a bar, or at a restaurant, or the grocery store, or church. We didn’t meet through friends or at work or on a blind date. We met in a place where we were discussing topics related to the teachings and practices of our Faith. We all talk about stuff like politicians and Communion, Confession, the Saints, the homeless, and even what blood type did Christ have. It’s a lively place with over 7000 members. We laugh, talk, tease, get angry, and just generally have a good time. Oh – did I mention that this place only exists on a server someplace in the middle of the Internet? That’s where we met. That’s how I got to know him before I ever “spoke” to him for the first time. I got to see how he responded to discussions, what he had to say in general about things that are very important to me. Then, one year ago this week, I decided to drop him an email. And we have taken off from there.

How in the world can two people have a relationship when they are thousands of miles apart? Well – very carefully, thanks to technology. We are in constant communication with each other. What that means is that during the day we are sending messages to each other while we are working, in the evening we are on the phone for my drive home, and then we are on the computer talking over Skype to finish out our day and say good night. On the weekend we spend time on the webcam so we can see each other, and just see our smiles. No – we can’t go on dates, but we sometimes have “phone dates” where we will read to each other or listen to music, or on the computer shopping on eBay for stuff and sending links back and forth.

We talk about EVERYTHING! You name it – we have talked/laughed/argued about it!! Food, house keeping, children, going on vacations, grocery shopping, laundry, sex, family, our Faith, work, I could go on an on. We have known each other a year now, and I can guarantee you that we have talked about more things than most couples do in the first year of marriage. Ok – so what - you say. You still don’t “KNOW” each other. Not in the sense of day to day being together.

But think about this. Is the person you are with today the same person you met so many years ago? Did you know everything about that person when you married them? Will you ever know everything? Would you even want to? How boring that would be!!

No – we don’t have the benefit of starting our marriage with that knowledge most people have by spending time together, and living together would never be an option for us regardless of our circumstances. But those who start marriages with that benefit don’t have our advantage of being forced to communicate and REALLY getting to know each other that we have. Which way is better? Who knows. Personally I think they both have their pros and cons. Of course we would prefer to be together, but that’s not how things are for us, and so we are making the very best of our situation and growing as a couple along the way.

So, when you worry about us doing this crazy thing, and wondering what the hell has happened to Liza to make her do such a wild thing as leaving everything she has ever known, moving her entire life to another country and way of life, just remember…it’s not really that different than the leap anyone makes when they make that life changing decision to be married. Only the geography is different.

And so we plan. We continue to make our plans, change them, talk about them, and plan them over again. It’s all part of the growing together and preparing ourselves for a life together. Something we are both very much looking forward to.

~Liza