You got sumthin to say to me?

I've been asked a few times - HEY! How do I leave comments on that slick new fancy blog you guys have now?

Well, it's easy. At the bottom of each little section that we write, you will see a blue "# comments" thingie. The "#" will tell you how many comments have been left for that section. You can click on it - and leave your comment!

WOW!!! Technology!!!! Aint it cool?

~Liza

AH HA!!

Finally I come up with something that gets him to post a comment!! :-)

This was a very contentious discussion for us - what is a rehearsal, why do we have to do it, why the dinner afterward, etc. But in the end it will be just fine.

You never know the little things that someone is going to have issue with. Who would have ever thought it would be a wedding rehearsal! But he's a Brit and I'm still getting used to him not knowing how we do things here. So he's gets all fussy about it, I tell him to calm down, he tells me he's not, and then we laugh about it later. Oh well - it's all part of that learning each other thing. And I love it. :-)

So we will talk to Father Liberty about it and see what suggestions he has. Thank goodness we don't have 15 bride's maids with a pack of little kids dressed up and tossing rose petals, and dogs with rings tied to their collars. These things can really get out of hand, and the need for rehearsal of a PRODUCTION is obviously necessary. But our little do will be simple, as simple as the Mass allows, and maybe we can do this in a way that makes us both happy.

Now let's see what he has to say about compromise. hehehe

~Liza

We are going to keep doing this until we get it wrong

Let's talk rehearsals, shall we?

I am an actor / director, I understand the need for rehearsals. Rehearsals are designed to indoctrinate a cast into doing something the way the director wants. A significant proportion of rehearsal time is spent in - not getting one's actors to do what you want them to do - but not look like little cardboard dolls while doing it.

Try saying the same line a thousand times - it very swiftly becomes trite and probably ceases to be true. It certainly doesn't sound real any more.

So, this is why I am puzzled - nay, seriously perplexed - by the concept of a wedding rehearsal.

A wedding is not something that can actually be got wrong - provided one avoids things such as colapsing spires, people saying "No" and the Rapture hitting and snatching only half the couple up. And, really, you can't legislate against those things - let alone pre-emptively escape them by rehearsals.

A wedding goes right provided the Priest does his bit and the couple do their's. And - without wishing to sound pretty arogant - neither of these jobs are exactly hard when one arrives at the altar. The Donatist heresy (and others) have proven that the bottom line for Priests is just that; a good Priest is far more, but a Priest is a man with ordination and a problem with his collar. All he has to do is remember the words and actions (which are written down) and the whole thing is licit.

What I am asking for here, essentially, is a literate Priest who can hold it together for about an hour and a half. Hardly unlikely to get it, am I?

Again, all that is being asked of myself and my bride to be is the ability to say "Yes" and "I do" on cue. And, let's be fair, those are not complex responses.

What I am driving at here, is that the concept of "getting it right" seems rather to suggest there is something that is right that can be got wrong. Or, to put it in the form of a question which is not the one you are asking (namely, "WTF?");

What do you think we are here to do?

While I am exceedingly grateful that people are coming from half-way around the country to see me get married, and I wouldn't change the pomp and circumstance of the ceremony for the world, everyone has to realise that the important thing is not the service - but rather the Sacrament.

Which is - to be perfectly honest - not something that can be messed up.

So, why do I have to rehearse?

Rehearsals are for things where the form is more important than the function, surely - a situation where one has to get the outward signs exactly right to a degree unknown elsewhere. Certainly, the concept of a rehearsal is never used when it is important to actually see what does happen.

Can you imagine, for example, rehearsing the wedding night? That would be - officially - called fornication. Not wishing to draw parallels or cast stones, but I leave it hanging the in the air as something I am certainly not comfortable with.

The purpose of the rehearsal (of which Liza has spoken) appears to be to make sure people know where to stand . . .

Hmm - can't we just tell them? Nudge them subtly into place?

Rehearsals. Yuck. It implies I can't get it right first time which - when one can't get it wrong at all - rather implies that a point has been missed.

(We are having soup and sandwiches after the rehearsal, we think that is clearly a good idea. Hands up if you don't like soup . . . .)

- Darknight

Making plans

Tonight we got to talk for a significant period of time without me driving in the car someplace, or Simon having to run off to a rehearsal or performance or something. It was nice. To just relax and chat, spend good time together - well, as together as we can be right now.

We talked about some dvds he's bought, eBay stuff, making dinner, and about the wedding. Most of our conversation centered around choosing the readings for the ceremony. Father Liberty has delibereratly not given us the little planning book with the typical readings in it, because he wants us to focus more on the marriage right now and not he ceremony.

But I think Simon made a good point. Given the fact that we do not live together and not even near each other, this is the first thing in our lives that we will have to plan together, as a couple, that will have lasting impact on us. We are in the kindergarten class of functioning as a husband and wife. Making decisions, making plans, talking things through and considering the other's needs and desires, as well as those of our guests and family. Yes, there are flowers to be considered, a menu to be planned, etc. But all that doesn't matter. What matters to us is that our wedding truly speaks of who we are as a couple and as individuals. Not from the typical mushy gushy we are so in love perspective, but what marriage means to us as it is bathed in the light of the Church.

You won't be hearing from First Corinthians. While it's nice and lovely, and perfect for some, we won't be having that reading. We have chosen instead to focus on the sacrificial aspects of marriage in contrast with Christ's sacrifice for us. And while this may boor some to tears, or possibly blow right past others, it will speak to us of what we want our marriage to be. We want to give of ourselves, one to the other, so that the other might live. Not in this life as we know it, but where we ultimately want our beloved to be. Where our God wants us to be.

This doesn't mean that we don't acknowledge the love or the romance of marriage, there will be a bit of that as well. But we are not defined by our love for each other. That is far too limiting. Our love has many facets, and the primary one is our shared Faith. That is what we will choose to present to our family and friends on our wedding day.

So, while we have so far agreed on all the other silly stuff like the color of the roses, and what sort of tie he will wear, we have found the best and closest conversation around the important stuff. Defining our vision and understanding of marriage within the context of our Faith.

Being in love with this man is pure bliss.

~Liza

Simon is coming!!!

YAY!!! Simon heard from his manager today that he is approved to take time off in September!!! I'm so excited I can't stand it. I will have to work while he's here, but it will be nice to have him there when I come home. We will meet with Father Liberty again, and have a tasting meeting with the Chef where we are planning to have our reception luncheon.

Yes - if you didn't catch the update before the blog was changed, we have set a date for April 22, 2006 for our wedding. Woo hoo!! So far we have chosen the date and time (noon) and the reception location at a resturant in Downtown Detroit on the riverfront. It will be lovely. Just a small luncheon reception, nothing big and fancy.

I've been having some pretty rough days being separated from him lately - it only makes it harder when we do see each other to be apart. But knowing he will be here again soon makes it more bearable.

I've been spending time looking at bridal magazines (as if I needed a wedding as an excuse to do that) and thinking of little touches to make it special and nice for us and our guests. All on a major budget - but that makes it all the more fun and challenging.

Thanks for stopping by!

~Liza

We're back!

After a short house cleaning of posts, our blog is back up and running. You will not see as much "commentary" as you did previously. Apparently that didn't go over very well with some, so we will just keep it informational and not get quite so personal. :-)

Not as fun, but hey, you can't please everyone so we won't try.

~Liza